Here's another one to go under the microscope! It is widely accepted (by anyone I've spoken to anyway, including my college lecturers) that small children test our limits, in the sense that they behave in a more and more obnoxious manner until we tell them to (or make them) stop. The theory is that what they really want is for us to put them back in their place and restore order, so they feel that their parents are in charge and feel more secure as a consequence.
As you might have guessed I'm beginning to have a problem with this. I agree that small children are not great at regulating their emotions and sometimes need help in calming down when overexcited or upset. But I take this to mean that they want to feel calm again, not to be told off.
I'm looking at my sons as I write and I really don't believe that they have any interest in pushing my buttons just to see what I do, it would imply that they don't trust me, that they have to keep checking that I'm going to look after them properly.
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