This is not strictly a "real life" problem as I have never had anyone make nasty comments about my parenting choices to my face, well... the closest we got was when the health visitor told us to put Mr Baby in a cot next to us when I had just said we intended to co-sleep, but I bit my tongue, she was just reciting the official mantra.
The problem I'm having is online, on my baby and child related forums specifically. I belong to a few and I mainly go on Babycentre, my favourite group is Happy Hippie Mommies as all the other members share my views on controlled crying and responsive parenting, some of us are more extreme than others but I have never got into any sort of personal argument with anyone. The problem is the more general groups like my birth club (all babies born February 2010) and the toddler group that I have now left as my posts were being removed without explanation or warning. The issues always seem to be the same: I am against any type of baby training, especially leaving babies to cry alone, but god forbid you should mention this or, even worse, back it up with real scientific research. They bite back like religious fundamentalists who think you have insulted their god, in this case their way of life and cultural beliefs.
All I'm saying is, please step away from what is familiar and just look at the evidence, why do these ladies forget we are animals with genes that are millions of years old, our babies expect to be held as this is what their genes tell them, the poor child crying down the end of the corridor in his room alone is not being naughty or manipulative, he's alone and lost, his brain is telling him that alone he cannot survive so those cries are real anguish.
So here it is, how do I reconcile these ideas with the very different ones I come across? I don't feel like compromising, should I just leave the groups where these issues will come up and stick to the safety of the ones who share my beliefs? I don't know...
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