Baby training really does not work

From everything I've read and researched it seems clear that trying to train your baby and child like they were pets really does not work in the long run (or the short one... depends what your aims are), we're still using Victorian methods which are based on very non-scientific assumptions, mainly that children need training as soon as possible to make them fit into our society. Children's needs take second place, it is more important to have them "sleep through" preferably in their own room and to be fed "proper balanced" pureed food, of course you have to put them in a pram and cot, god forbid they get too close to you, they'll still want to sleep with you when they're teenagers... Rods for backs enter the equation and so on and so on.
So this brings me to personal experience, our poor Mr Toddler was put in his room at 6 months after having co-slept with us and been carried in a sling (was breastfed till he was 4 months old), looking back I really don't know why I did it... everybody expected me to and as he was my first I guess I just thought that this is what you did, my sister co-slept with all her children and was branded a messy hippie with no rules and kids running wild, so I also wanted to distance myself from this.
The first year was a nightmare, Mr Toddler woke up repeatedly and would not go back to sleep, much rocking and story reading ensued, culminating in an attempt at controlled crying when he was one. None of it worked, he still woke up! When he was about 18 months old he started sleeping better and was happy to go to bed on his own. So you would think that the job was done, baby trained, all sleeping nicely now! Actually no, what happened was that we conditioned him to sleep at a certain time in a certain place, he was doing it because we made him not because he wanted to.
Fast forward to last week, he finally worked out how to get out of his cot...
No more bedtime at 8pm, no more sleeping in his own room... Can we blame him really? He has now decided to do things his way, which mean going to bed when we go (10pm) and sleeping with us. So at this point we will try and undo the early damage and let him sleep where he wants to, we'll put a single bed in our room (last night it was 4 of us in the same bed, a little cramped) and see if he's happy with this, no more child training for us, it comes back to bite you in the end.