Needless to say I was rather shocked at most of the advice given, I don't even know where to start... the lady in question was very nice and friendly but not one word came out of her mouth that felt like she has mulled it over herself, it was all: government guidelines say... the guidelines say... with no respect for the individual or our different circumstances, you could see her looking at us and not really seeing us as individual people and babies, very weird!
Amongst the things that worried me were:
- Your one year old should not be waking up in the middle of the night, if he/she does you mustn't give them milk as it creates bad habits (should I even bother to comment? mr baby can have milk when and where he wants it thank you very much! And if he is so naughty to wake up in the night he will get a cuddle alongside his milk)
- You should give the under fives vitamin supplements (I was horrified at this, I kept my mouth shut most of the time but I had to comment when she said this, my child has been eating the same foods as us for months now and doesn't need supplements)
- At one year of age you should move them from formula to cows milk (no mention of extended breastfeeding or people like me who stopped breastfeeding but use toddler milk as this is more similar to breast milk than cows milk, which is for cows...)
- They should be in their own beds, when I mentioned that we still co-sleep her smile froze and she told me not to overheat him (I've only been co-sleeping with children for the last 3 years, what do I know?)
Oh, I'm right there with you. I probably would have exploded. I feel so bad sitting there and taking bad advice but at the same time saying something possibly means offending people which is ridiculous because if they really listened to themselves speak they'd hear how utterly horrifying and/or old fashioned their advice/ways are. :(
ReplyDelete*sigh*
Having a disabled mother who has very little faith in medical professionals, I've been brought up to question the view of anyone in authority if I'm not 100% happy. That said, I cannot believe how many childcare professionals there are giving completely ridiculous advice.
ReplyDeleteI remember fairly recently going for lunch with my sister-in-law and her friend who had recently had a baby. This poor woman was worried because her little boy (6 months old) wasn't sleeping through. I get really irritated by people who think they know how babies are and how they should be. Babies, like full grown people, are all different, and it's an utter myth (and not very helpful) to assume that they all magically start sleeping through the night at a specific point in time.
I confessed to a HV that I was co-sleeping; luckily for me, she was incredibly supportive, but that's not always the case. We as mothers need to remember that healthcare professionals don't know our babies, and therefore don't know all the answers.
There was an instance where I was so unhappy with the guidance I had received, that I complained to my health authority. I can't recommend highly enough that we all do this....even though the upshot was that, because there are so many different types of mother out there, they have to go for the lowest common denominator and, as such, treat us all like dimwits...
Lx
It's worrying, isn't it? Such a shame many women have lost the ability to trust their inner feelings where raising their babies is concerned. A lot of the information given is so inappropriate and wrong, it's infuriating. There is no holistic care at all, bung them all in the same group, one size fits all kinda thing. It's the reason I do my own thing, not caring what others think. My baby's welfare is paramount. I know him better than anyone else does at this point, so I'll trust me more.
ReplyDeleteI feel for babies whose parents are unsure and listen to all they're told as gospel, sigh...
A friend of mine also mentioned having trouble with her HV due to cultural differences. I think that what I'm trying to say is that you can't lump all parents under one umbrella category and hit them with government guidelines.
ReplyDelete