It was suggested I read this book (by Margot Sunderland), it arrived today and I have already devoured 40 pages of it, thanks for the suggestion!!!
It explains in layman terms what Sue Gerhardt in her Why Love Matters covers in her book, and expands it to cover strategies and advice on coping with distressed children.
Effectively it is about how babie's brains are nowhere near finished (so any distress like being left to cry will affect brain development) and how adults need to help children to regulated their emotions, this gives them a model they will use for the rest of their life. So the mother who is always there to soothe her distressed child by picking him/her up is not spoiling the child or making him/her a weaker individual. Far from it! She is regulating his/her feeling and showing the child that no matter how upset you get, there is always a way to feel better and to calm down.
Must add: got to the toddler bit and it's not so good... mentions of time outs and little nero tantrums really annoyed me, more of the same traditional discipline then?
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