Hippie babies, mainstream toddlers

I have found this really interesting. By reading and listening to what mothers are saying, I see that a lot are bringing their babies up in a very nurturing and responsive manner, but as soon as they hit the toddler mark, something kicks in and traditional discipline begins to be implemented (naughty chairs, time outs, various forms of punishments). Why is this? I suppose that babies can be quite passive and it's comforting to sleep and carry a fluffy cuddly baby, as soon as they start crawling the word NO appears in our dictionary (although removing the offending or dangerous object is better than yelling NO at an 8 month old, but I am also guilty of doing this) and we feel we somehow need to control them. And then they walk, they talk and discover independence, so the need to control gets bigger and bigger until we find ourselves in the middle of a real power struggle with a 3 year who has a lot more energy to spare than we have. Where have all the hippie responsive ways gone?
I think it's time to bring them back and stop fighting. I looked at my toddler the other day and thought that he has a wonderful spirit, it was time to leave an activity group he was enjoying and of course he said: no mummy, don't want to go. And I thought: good on you! Of course you don't want to go, I wouldn't like it either is someone came along and took me away from an activity I was enjoying, he has no sense of time or that we need to meet daddy/cook supper/whatever. And I really would not like to have a passive child who just says yes all the time. If he's saying yes to me now, will he also say yes to his mates when he's older, to his boss, to anyone? Scary...
So the trick is in balancing their needs and wants with the running of a house and family, the much hated compromise comes in and do you know what? Traditionally, compromising with your children is seen as a mark of weakness, you are no longer boss, they will run riot. But what has actually happened is that by using compromise, Mr Toddler has also learnt to use it, so instead of screaming NO MUMMY I'M NOT GOING!!! He added, mummy one more minute, then he was happy to leave.